New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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