I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
