You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize