I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
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There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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