I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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