Christians are straight up FREAKS
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
