fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
