Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
