Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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