So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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