I wish you could order shots online.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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