I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
