even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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