How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
