I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize