hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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