How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize