I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize