my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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