i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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