Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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