Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
