you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
