i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize