I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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