There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
