took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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