If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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