That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
