i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize