All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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