dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
