I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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