I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
