Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Even my vagina gasped.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
