and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize