my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need a beard to bite.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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