problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
