She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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