you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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