PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
