the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
