Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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