reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
