And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
