elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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