dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
