you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
