is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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