Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
