Don't make out with my wife yet
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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