i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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