Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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