i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
