Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
